Decisions, Decisions...

Hello dear blog! Once again, I have delayed writing in you, but tonight is one of those nights where I have a LOT on my brain. Due to some recent events, I haven't had the best of evenings. It really has the wheels in my head turning. Remember how I was saying how great and awesome that my job at Cox was? Well...that actually turned out to be a big lie. I was constantly being told that I was doing "exceptionally well" and then some, but that was before the shift bid. Little did I know, I was all the way to the bottom of the list...literally. I was placed at 109th out of 111 representatives total. That already hurt my heart because of the fact I have gone out of my way above and beyond for the company, the customers, and myself and I still end up pretty much at rock bottom. With some inspiration from my peers, I tried not to feel too bad about being ranked so low. All of that changed in a heartbeat Wednesday evening.

During my phone calls, I heard nothing but people cheering and saying, "Thank you Jesus!" after the schedules were released. I was quite hesistant about even looking at mine because the whole time I stayed positive about having decent hours for when I make a return to school for the fall. However, that was too good to be true as well. I went to schedule some time off (because I needed it with all of the work and overwork I have been doing), and much to my surprise, I was stuck with a split shift of ALL things. Split shifts can be great...for people who live five minutes away, but for this person, all it was was a big slap in the face. My heart sank into my stomach when I had to see that the first part of my day would be spent working from 8-12, having a whole six hours in between and living where the traffic is horrible and having to fight traffic to get back to work on time, and then closing from 6-10, most of the time getting out at 10 is not guaranteed at all. I mean I knew I was too low to get anything superb, but I live 20 minutes away from my job, and after six hours of a break, who REALLY wants to come back? I had to deal with everyone else celebrating and being joyful while I sat at my desk, eyes full and getting choked up every time I thought about my schedule or even spoke about it. Eventually, I just did not want to talk anymore period about it. Even now as I write this blog, my eyes are getting misty.

Some say I was too hard on myself, others say they told me so, but no one ever commended me on how I am really doing. As a hard working person, I try not to let my guard down, even on my off days. I show up promptly at work every single day I am on the schedule, I never have a nasty attitude with people no matter how pissed off they may be, and I always reach my numbers. I just do not understand why I ended up at the bottom at all...but wait...I do. It is because I did not have enough sales. Keyword there: sales. I went into Cox with hopes for a job in Technical Support, not SALES. I never was nor will I ever be a top salesman or have my name on an e-mail every other day of the week trying to sell extra stuff people can't really afford. In all honesty, if they tell us that everything is "performance based" when it comes down to those schedules, then I know in my heart I should have been in the top 60 at least, not way at 109. My scorecards are always very good, I STAY working overtime when I don't have to come in on my days off at all, and just because I do not get perfect scores on my QA (Quality Assurance)or sell a whole bunch of items, that doesn't mean I should not qualify to have a schedule that will benefit me and my future. I was told to talk to my supervisor, but I don't even think it will be necessary. Besides, knowing how a lot of those people are in the business, nobody wants to have a shift where they're off six hours between shifts or closing. That's just how it is.

With school on my mind and a heavy heart with the situation, I guess I have a LOT to think about tonight, mainly what my future will hold with Cox Communications. I am already tired of customer service as it is, and I am ready to get my career started so that I can go places. Cox only showed me that the only way to go places is to be a suck-up and constantly beg people to buy their products, and that is NOT the person I am. Being that I am a customer myself, I believe that people stay because of our service to them, not for the fact we may have the best prices and package deals for the services. If you treat people with the utmost respect and see them as being at the top of the pedestal, they will continue to come back, not because of what movie deals you have at a certain price or what service you can add on in order for the company to profit from. I guess that is really how corporate America has become, and it is actually quite sickening that people forgot the REAL value of customer service. I just know that my time is running short, and my patience is quite thin dealing with all of these unfair changes. If I knew I wouldn't be fired for speaking my mind, this blog would have been sent to corporate right about now.

You know how that saying goes..."Nice guys finish last?" Well...I guess in my case, that is the truth. I hate to have to keep searching and searching for the best job for me that will fit in my happiness zone, but I know that Cox has taken each and every lit bit of everything I stood for with them and ran it straight into the ground because of their favoritism and not having an open mind for their employees. On that note, I guess it's back to the drawing board and very soon. I hate to sound so mean and bitter...and sad, but that's really all I've felt all day. I just hate to have so much of my abilities shine and they still go unnoticed. One day, I WILL succeed and I WILL be doing what I love. This is merely an obstacle, but it has been a learning experience hands down. What it has taught me most is never let your light shine too brightly. People will seem blind to it even if they are able to see it. I have already decided on stepping down from working overtime for good while I am still there, and the next thing is to start posting my resume again. Maybe someone WILL notice me and appreciate what I can do for the company instead of seeing me as just another number or another sale or statistic. Thank you for listening my dear blog. Hopefully next time, I will be in a much better mood when I write in you again :). For now, I will let the clouds hang, the rain poor, and the lightning strike until it all blows over and the sun will come out again.