Decisions, Decisions...

Hello dear blog! Once again, I have delayed writing in you, but tonight is one of those nights where I have a LOT on my brain. Due to some recent events, I haven't had the best of evenings. It really has the wheels in my head turning. Remember how I was saying how great and awesome that my job at Cox was? Well...that actually turned out to be a big lie. I was constantly being told that I was doing "exceptionally well" and then some, but that was before the shift bid. Little did I know, I was all the way to the bottom of the list...literally. I was placed at 109th out of 111 representatives total. That already hurt my heart because of the fact I have gone out of my way above and beyond for the company, the customers, and myself and I still end up pretty much at rock bottom. With some inspiration from my peers, I tried not to feel too bad about being ranked so low. All of that changed in a heartbeat Wednesday evening.

During my phone calls, I heard nothing but people cheering and saying, "Thank you Jesus!" after the schedules were released. I was quite hesistant about even looking at mine because the whole time I stayed positive about having decent hours for when I make a return to school for the fall. However, that was too good to be true as well. I went to schedule some time off (because I needed it with all of the work and overwork I have been doing), and much to my surprise, I was stuck with a split shift of ALL things. Split shifts can be great...for people who live five minutes away, but for this person, all it was was a big slap in the face. My heart sank into my stomach when I had to see that the first part of my day would be spent working from 8-12, having a whole six hours in between and living where the traffic is horrible and having to fight traffic to get back to work on time, and then closing from 6-10, most of the time getting out at 10 is not guaranteed at all. I mean I knew I was too low to get anything superb, but I live 20 minutes away from my job, and after six hours of a break, who REALLY wants to come back? I had to deal with everyone else celebrating and being joyful while I sat at my desk, eyes full and getting choked up every time I thought about my schedule or even spoke about it. Eventually, I just did not want to talk anymore period about it. Even now as I write this blog, my eyes are getting misty.

Some say I was too hard on myself, others say they told me so, but no one ever commended me on how I am really doing. As a hard working person, I try not to let my guard down, even on my off days. I show up promptly at work every single day I am on the schedule, I never have a nasty attitude with people no matter how pissed off they may be, and I always reach my numbers. I just do not understand why I ended up at the bottom at all...but wait...I do. It is because I did not have enough sales. Keyword there: sales. I went into Cox with hopes for a job in Technical Support, not SALES. I never was nor will I ever be a top salesman or have my name on an e-mail every other day of the week trying to sell extra stuff people can't really afford. In all honesty, if they tell us that everything is "performance based" when it comes down to those schedules, then I know in my heart I should have been in the top 60 at least, not way at 109. My scorecards are always very good, I STAY working overtime when I don't have to come in on my days off at all, and just because I do not get perfect scores on my QA (Quality Assurance)or sell a whole bunch of items, that doesn't mean I should not qualify to have a schedule that will benefit me and my future. I was told to talk to my supervisor, but I don't even think it will be necessary. Besides, knowing how a lot of those people are in the business, nobody wants to have a shift where they're off six hours between shifts or closing. That's just how it is.

With school on my mind and a heavy heart with the situation, I guess I have a LOT to think about tonight, mainly what my future will hold with Cox Communications. I am already tired of customer service as it is, and I am ready to get my career started so that I can go places. Cox only showed me that the only way to go places is to be a suck-up and constantly beg people to buy their products, and that is NOT the person I am. Being that I am a customer myself, I believe that people stay because of our service to them, not for the fact we may have the best prices and package deals for the services. If you treat people with the utmost respect and see them as being at the top of the pedestal, they will continue to come back, not because of what movie deals you have at a certain price or what service you can add on in order for the company to profit from. I guess that is really how corporate America has become, and it is actually quite sickening that people forgot the REAL value of customer service. I just know that my time is running short, and my patience is quite thin dealing with all of these unfair changes. If I knew I wouldn't be fired for speaking my mind, this blog would have been sent to corporate right about now.

You know how that saying goes..."Nice guys finish last?" Well...I guess in my case, that is the truth. I hate to have to keep searching and searching for the best job for me that will fit in my happiness zone, but I know that Cox has taken each and every lit bit of everything I stood for with them and ran it straight into the ground because of their favoritism and not having an open mind for their employees. On that note, I guess it's back to the drawing board and very soon. I hate to sound so mean and bitter...and sad, but that's really all I've felt all day. I just hate to have so much of my abilities shine and they still go unnoticed. One day, I WILL succeed and I WILL be doing what I love. This is merely an obstacle, but it has been a learning experience hands down. What it has taught me most is never let your light shine too brightly. People will seem blind to it even if they are able to see it. I have already decided on stepping down from working overtime for good while I am still there, and the next thing is to start posting my resume again. Maybe someone WILL notice me and appreciate what I can do for the company instead of seeing me as just another number or another sale or statistic. Thank you for listening my dear blog. Hopefully next time, I will be in a much better mood when I write in you again :). For now, I will let the clouds hang, the rain poor, and the lightning strike until it all blows over and the sun will come out again.

Chapter 2: Graduate School and Work Changes

Once again, I have delayed writing in my lovely blog since I am super tied up with work and then some. While I am in much better spirits than I was when I wrote that last one, I am happy to report some amazing news. After months of waiting patiently and constantly checking my e-mail constantly, I am proud to say that I am now a member of the Mississippi State University graduate program!! That's right...I WILL be working on my master's in Applied Meteorology! I almost cried when I received that e-mail that I had been accepted. I am so blessed and privileged to have things going the right way by never giving up and a LOT of prayer and faith. I am due to start very soon for the summer semester, but of course, it takes a while for some schools to get their information out in a timely fashion. Due to my bachelor's degree concentration, I have to take a couple of hours of undergraduate classes before the heavy duty stuff which is completely fine by me! Anything that will get me started and where I need to be so I can move forward in my career as an on-camera meteorologist is a huge help!

On May 25, I turned 25 and celebrated with my family and friends. Even though I had to spend the day of at my desk, it was a really good birthday. There's really no change since I've become 25, but what I can say is that I'm glad to look more and more like my mom every day and that I still look like a teenager LOL! I was also able to see Hangover Part 2 (which was HILARIOUS by the way) that I was anticipating since I heard that the sequel was indeed happening! All I can say is this...I walked out of the theater in tears from laughing so hard, and Ed Helms who plays Stu is gorgeous...just sayin LOL!

I did mention work, too, and I have soooo much to say about Cox at the moment. I am heading towards being there for 5 months on the 18th, and it has its good days and bad ones. Lately, I've been feeling a lot of heavy burdens since they've changed a great deal of things. Not only are we responsible for troubleshooting, but now they want us to sell products that customers may not have AND try to fix everything in a timely manner. Most of what we have to fix takes a very long time to repair, and if we don't get it right the first time, we don't have a choice but to send technicians out. It makes it hard because we can only do so much to help people and things, and it creates a great deal of pressure. It's almost as if they don't want to see people succeed doing a great job as they are now! Adding on these extra "perks" also means that ranks are jeopardized in a sense of getting better schedules or even getting a promotion within the company. As my mom told me when I had a conversation with her about the recent changes, "You can only do so much, and you just go in there and do what you're supposed to do." Ever since I permanently moved onto the floor, I have been volunteering for overtime nonstop and going the extra mile for my customers, but do you think any of us who do that gets ANY credit at all? I know companies have to make adjustments and things to keep running, but I feel that since they changed a lot of things around, we're taking the bulk of the problems and they won't accept where they're wrong. I hate to vent about work, but just imagine being as stressed out as I am on top of trying to get all of the graduate school things together. It's a nightmare you can't seem to get away from!

Alright...I think I'm done venting for the time being. Starting school again after a year feels really good, and no matter what, I will have a good feeling about going to work, even if they did change all of those things for us. I just do as my mom says and keep my eyes on the prize. Eventually, I will make my way off those phones and into a TV studio somewhere...someday soon and very soon :-)

Work....and More of It

Alright so I totally got off track from writing, and for that, I feel guilty...sorry blog!!! Anyways, just thought I would come in and give an update on how I'm doing. Coming up on May 18, it will make four whole months that I have been a part of the Cox Communications family. Wow how time flies, huh?! After several bouts of training since January, I can finally say that I made it through, weathered the storm, and made it to the other end of the rainbow! So far, tech support has its good days and its bad days with the bad sometimes outweighing the good. I have never come across so many people getting upset over cable, not to mention taking their frustrations out on us because we can't fix it right away. This past weekend was a doozy for me being that I was the last one to leave two nights in a row past 10:30. While I love doing what I do, it sucks to have to take the backlash from others because they expect you to do magic and solve it all at one time.

By the end of the day, I feel that I have done all I can do, but at the same time, I'm still learning. Technical support is probably the biggest challenge I've ever had to deal with because of how much information is involved with troubleshooting, but if you get those cooperative customers, it makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside. Once you get the really rude and grumpy ones, that's a whole different ball game! I feel that I have done a LOT of growing as of late and I am handling my attitude a lot better (even though those who know me would be shocked to know I have a temper). Praying also makes for better days within the workplace as well. I had my moments with my co-workers I trained with, too, but since we ended strong, we all get along quite well.

Needless to say...I'm content as to where I am now, but I have a LOT of work to do...a LOT!! Hopefully by next month or July, I will be able to be sit amongst the best and continue to succeed as a tech support representative. Until then, I have to get through the obstacles the day may bring and get through those. Oh yeah....I'm turning 25 this month, too! I'm pretty excited...25 on the 25th! Then the Hangover Part 2 comes out the following day...what a birthday for me!! Hopefully I will be back to update again very soon as I continue to move along on the job. I may be starting grad school as well, so I'm sure there will be a full chapter on that IF and WHEN I get accepted :-D!

Happiness is Back Again!!!

Now that I have gotten past the grief from the previous two weeks, I have something good to report. Remember how I mentioned that I ended up landing a new job with Cox Communications back on the 13th last month? Cox has been FANTASTIC!!! While the work load is getting a bit more challenging, the feel of the place never leaves. I mean you can have the day from hell before you walk in the door, and all of that is gone in an instant. The people are amazing and so genuine, and the company itself treats all of their employees like royalty. I got a taste of that yesterday when they decided to let our class leave earlier because of the weather. Most of the jobs I've held only let us get out if it was really bad as in a hurricane coming. Other than that, we never had a chance to leave. Just for us to be safe, they ordered lunch today and yesterday for the employees so that way, they wouldn't have to travel out into the weather since we had sleet and ice most of the day here.

My overall experience, by far, has been a great one! Our training class is like a family, and it's only been three weeks into the job. We tend to have a lot of fun, but we get the work done and learn that's for sure. The trainer...a riot (in a good way)! She will have us laughing so hard about ourselves and the things she's seen within the company and then some. I don't think learning has been more fun since I graduated! Even training for the last job wasn't as great as this one has been! I really hope that I will be able to stick around for as long as I can with Cox because they have the total package when it comes to benefits, perks, and more. If I can stay on for a year or more, I am looking to work in Productions since they have their own TV station. I just hope that with this job period, I will be able to move up because I have always been strong willed and determined to make it in this world, no matter what all I had to do to get where I want and need to be in life. On top of other things, I can honestly say that I am HAPPY! I haven't smiled this much in a long time, and I thank God for second chances so that I can smile and have my joy. Even the littlest things bring me joy but even moreso as an adult. As Annie would say, "I think I'm gonna like it here!"

Saying Farewell

Here I am back again with a brand new blog only this time, it has a different mood. As it nears Saturday, I begin to start feeling bittersweet about the day because of the fact that a truly remarkable human being that I admired greatly is being laid to rest. On January 2, 2000, I was bored and flipping through channels to see what was on that night because on most Sundays, nothing was really on TV unless you were lucky enough to find a game or documentary on. I just so happened to stumble across what was on CBS, thinking that it was a movie because all of the people were at a New Year's party dressed in their tuxedos and ball dresses. I figured I would leave it there since it looked interesting. After the first few seconds, I saw two familiar faces that I had seen as a child before seeing the next one that completely changed things in an instant. My eyes became locked on a handsome man who appeared to be in his early to mid 30s with sandy blond hair, green eyes, and a great sense of charm. I ended up adding on to the list of crushes after that one. As I continued watching the show, I had to find out what the show was and what his name was. Come to find out....it was 'Touched By An Angel,' one of the hottest shows on CBS at the time and thought why I didn't start watching the show sooner. Of course, I later found out that his name was John.

The entire episode, I couldn't get over how gorgeous he was and how great of an actor he was, too. It was almost like he WAS who he was on the screen off the screen, too! I made it through the entire show, and eventually, it turned into watching every Sunday night, grasping the messages that the angels would bring to people and to let us know how much God loves us and is there for everyone. Now I will admit...the crush definitely grew after a while, but what was the most important thing was seeing issues that people went through in the real world as well as words from the Father. As I got better with internet, I started researching on how to contact cast members of the show (since I am big on collecting autographs and letting people know how much I appreciate their work and such), and I was in luck. Before starting my Freshman year of high school, I sent a letter to him saying how I had become a big fan over time and that he was such a great actor and part of why I no longer fear death like I did since he was portraying Andrew, the angel of death. I wrote him a poem too which I thought was kinda cheesy but I figured it would grab his attention.

*Fast Forward a year*
Right around my Sophomore year at East Ascension, I received one of the greatest gifts of all...an 8X10 sized manilla envelope address to me and was titled "Miss" in front of my name....in John's handwriting! I opened it and saw an autographed picture just for me as well as a note saying "Thanks for the poem. Beautiful" and then he signed that too! I think I broke the walls in my house a little at a time from all the screaming I did! That was the second time in my life that someone I looked up to actually took time and got back to me despite a busy schedule. I took that autograph everywhere, to school, family functions...you name the place, I brought it with me! Getting settled into school took a lot of my free time, so one day when we actually had down time in class, I decided to sit down and try to write a thank you letter to him for the little present. Of course, that came with trying to get a date for Homecoming too because when you're in high school and you constantly got rejected by the guys there, it was time to move up to bigger and better...and you didn't want to miss out on the dances and such! Unfortunately, that letter never got to him because after the 9/11 events, a lot of networks were turning away fan mail due to the anthrax threats, so that letter was sent right back to me.

As I continued to keep up with the show until it ended near the end of my Junior year, I always kept it in mind that one day, I would get the chance to actually say thanks and then some. For the time being, I had to settle for reruns of the show which made me sad and think about what he could be doing since the cast went their separate ways. I know that since then, he did do a few films but they weren't anything major. I just at least knew that he was still around somewhere and was alright.

*Present Day-2011*
Going into Christmas, I had a tradition of watching the two movies he did with Kathy Ireland (both which are great by the way), and so even after the holiday, I still watched the movie. I also watched some of my favorite 'Touched By An Angel' episodes I had on the DVR in recent days, too. I had even stayed up four nights in a row reading a story I wrote about him within one week and had a cast photo at my desk at Home Depot hanging next to one of my favorite singers. On January 13, I went off to Marksville with my family to enjoy a night stay at Paragon, reading that story in the car once more and changing my iPod wallpaper to one of my favorite pictures of him. Everything seemed to be going great....until dinner time. I had been texting occasionally due to the lack of cell phone service, and I felt the phone in my pocket when it vibrated. It was one of my close friends texting me to say hi and to see if I had seen the news and that she thought about me in the process. Now I'm thinking that something happened at home or closeby, but when I asked what happened, she broke the news to me. John had passed away from a heart attack on the 10th, but the news just broke that day. I had no desire to eat my lemon meringue pie anymore after hearing that. I had a lump in my throat so bad I thought I was going to be sick, and my eyes started to get misty. I kept thinking, "This HAS to be a hoax...it just has to." Soon I checked the main page on Yahoo and saw his picture there and the article saying that he had died at 47. My heart broke into millions of tiny peaces and fell into my stomach. I had to keep it together since I was with my family, and they were already giving me grief about the issue just because I didn't know him personally. I don't think they understand that when you love someone and admire them for what they did and who they were, something tragic happening to them, and at such a young age, is devastating. Losing someone like that is like losing a friend whether you knew them personally or not. That night before I went to sleep, I went through my pictures in my phone and found the one I had and kissed it and said how much I loved him quietly and then said a prayer before tossing and turning an hour or two.

As I stated not too long ago, it's very sad to know that someone you admired whole heartedly passes away. It cuts like a knife because it's a shock when you just saw the person and they have crossed your mind as of late. What I do know is that he is with the real angels now in a better place, and that in itself makes me happy. It is hard to say goodbye, but ever since that day, I have done nothing but look back at all the good times and smiled, even shed a few tears as I laughed. Since he is being laid to rest tomorrow, I wanted to write this blog to get all of my feelings out. Thank you so much for all of the good times, great memories, and all that you gave while you were here. You will ALWAYS be in my heart, and you will never be forgotten. R.I.P. Johnny....God Bless.

And the Pages Begin to Turn....

Hey there! See...I told you I would be back on more often LOL! Alright...let me not speak too soon before I get super tied up with stuff and end up not writing for months again ;-)! It looks like the pages of the new chapter in my life are finally beginning to turn for the absolute best. As you knew in my last blog, I was dealing with the constant torture of the job I was working at Home Depot Direct. I am glad to report that I no longer have those struggles. Why? Because I was able to FINALLY land a job at....Cox Communications! That's right....I am working within my field of study now, even though it isn't ultimately what I would like to do in life, but I am stepping in the right direction. After numerous failed attempts at trying to get on there, I slowly started to lose some hope as the drama continued daily at Home Depot Direct. Luckily, my sister knew someone that knew I was interested in working there since I graduated and asked if I was still looking for a position at Cox. All I could think was, "YES!!! I got a second chance! Thank God for that one!" I applied immediately and went through the process...taking assessments and interviews. It was a very strenuous process indeed! I waited in two-week intervals before hearing a bit of news. Finally, on the morning of January 13, my phone rung. It was the call I had been waiting for. The recruiter started with, "We have made a decision on the Tech Support position..." and took a severely long pause leaving me in suspense. Then she continued with, "and you were offered the job. Are you willing to accept this position?" You should know I had no problem turning that down at all. All the months I waited to get on there, and it was finally a dream come true.

The dream really came true on my first day (orientation that was today). We were shown great appreciation by having breakfast AND lunch catered to us, and the people there are amazing as well as the programming. It really didn't sink in until we took our tour around Cox that caught my heart by the seams. We had a chance to look inside Cox 4 which is their TV station they run from there, and that was it. I immediately thought, "I am in love with this place....I could BE here in a few years or something...this is a dream come true!" It was such an exciting day for me I just couldn't put it in words! All I can say for now is that I really can't wait to get started! To make things even better....I WILL get to go to grad school after all! I am absolutely blessed and honored that I was able to have another chance and to have the opportunity to really shine, if if I'm not on the small screen yet. Can't wait to get started tomorrow, but for now, I need to get some sleep. God is GOOD...ALL THE TIME!!!